HP: bullshit error messages and shit delivery

I bought an HP Officejet 6600 printer/scanner thing a few years ago. It’s generally been a pretty good bit of kit. Obviously, I’m saying that with the caveat that paying £52 for a set of ink cartridges is insane. From what I can tell, all printer makes are equally expensive, so I’ve not got any particular beef against HP for regularly being robbed for ink.

Anyway, I recently had a problem with one of the ink cartridges; according to the error message, the ink sensor had broken in the cartridge and it needed replacing.

Although annoying, faults like that can happen, but what boils my piss is the complete user-unfriendliness that the printer displayed when I tried to replace the broken cartridge and the shittiness of HP’s delivery process.

The first thing I noticed there was a problem was when I couldn’t print. I checked the printer, and it showed the message “Checking device. This process may take several minutes. Do not turn off the device; do not open or close any covers“. I had no idea how long this message had been showing, so what could I do? All I could do was to restart the thing.

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After the restart, the printer told me there was a fault with the yellow cartridge. After OKing this message, it went back to showing the same message as before. Since I was going away for the weekend, I left it and forgot about it.

After the weekend, I checked the printer on Monday. Guess what it showed? The same message, of course. Several minutes my arse. I was in two minds at that point. I could either order a new set of cartridges (since the non-broken ones were nearly empty, I may as well get a full set) for £52 or I could take the printer outside and smash it to pieces with a hammer (making sure to film it). Although option two would be more fun, I opted for option one. So I placed an order with HP directly. The HP site said that orders were generally dispatched the same day, and the order confirmation email specifically said my delivery date would be the next day.

Tuesday came and went. No delivery.

HP delivery

Wednesday arrived. I got an email telling me that my order had been dispatched. Awesome.

On Thursday, the cartridges finally showed up. Now time for the mind-games with the printer. I restarted the printer, which showed the error message about the broken cartridge. I then opened the front door, to get to the cartridges, and the fucking thing then beeps at me with an error, saying the door should be closed! You fucking know that one of the cartridges needs replacing, so don’t fucking beep at me when I do your bidding! After chuntering to itself for a while, it finally moved the cartridge holder to where I could swap in the new cartridges. Once I’d done that, it was fine!

In summary:

  1. A perpetual message saying “don’t restart” is utterly useless.
  2. Why can’t I print with a missing cartridge? Just don’t print colour or whatever.
  3. Stop telling me off when I’m trying to fix the problem you’re complaining about.
  4. Do not lie about dispatching orders the same day.

 

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